How Servers Can Handle Upset Customers Over Uncontrollable Issues

The tables are stacking up. The busy dinner rush is upon you. Out of the corner of your eye, you see the look of irritation. A customer is flagging you down, preparing to give you an earful.

• “What is going on with our food order? Did someone have to kill the cow?”
• “How are these prices so high? They weren’t anywhere near this bad last week. Are you trying to rob us?”
• “How is my favorite dish unavailable? I order it every time I’m here. It’s the entire reason we came here tonight.”

You feel the headache settling in as you deal with this thorny situation. This situation is entirely outside of your control. Maybe the kitchen is backed up. Maybe supplier costs have put a squeeze on the restaurant’s prices. Perhaps that favorite dish wasn’t selling. Regardless of the reason, you are the face of the restaurant at that moment. We need to respond in a way that de-escalates the situation while maintaining our professionalism. Let’s look at ways to approach these sticky situations with calm and empathy.

Remain Calm and Validate Their Frustration

Your first instinct might be to get defensive. “Hey, it’s not my fault the kitchen is short-staffed tonight. I didn’t make the schedule.” This isn’t helpful. Put yourself in your customer’s shoes to empathize with their situation. They’ve been looking forward to seeing the new Marvel movie. They planned just enough time to get something to eat before they go. This kitchen backup is putting their whole evening plans at risk. They’re obviously frustrated but, they aren’t necessarily looking to pin the blame on you. They want to be heard. A good response might be

“I know you’ve been waiting for a while and that this is frustrating. I’m going to check with the kitchen right now and get you an update.”

With this response, you are taking ownership to help get them a resolution. You show that you care about their concerns and want to see them resolved.

Be Transparent but Solution-Oriented

When that favorite menu item gets abruptly wiped off the menu, your first thought might be, “Our fat cat owners decided to take your favorite dish off the menu, so don’t complain to me.” Again, we’re playing the blame game and undercutting our professionalism. Notice, that our frustration is showing through. People appreciate honesty, but what they really want is a solution. Let’s not use excuses as a crutch. Instead, let’s offer alternatives. Try this response instead:

“I know you’re disappointed that this dish has been discontinued. It was one of my favorites as well. There is a similar dish that I think you’ll enjoy. Would you like to try it?”

We focus on the solution rather than getting mired in the problem. According to a 2022 Zendesk survey, 81 percent of customers stuck with a business that showed positive customer service experiences even in the face of problems. Find ways to lead with solutions.

Use “We” Instead of “They”

As we mentioned, it can be very tempting to shift the blame off yourself. It’s not your fault — “they removed the menu item” or “they raised the prices.” As a restaurant, we are a team. If you drag down the kitchen staff or the managers, you inadvertently drag down yourself in the process. Use inclusive language. In the instance of increased menu prices, we might say:

“Price changes are tough. We are committed to using the highest quality ingredients to deliver the best food and, sometimes that leads to price adjustments. If value is important to you, we have great options I can recommend.”

Blaming the business hurts you in the long run. It translates into fewer customers, which can lead to job security concerns. Let’s find ways to build trust in the business.

Know When to Apologize (and How)

An apology can go a long way to making a situation right without accepting the blame. We’re finding a solution. Take the following statement:

“Your wait has been long. I’m sorry for the delay, and I appreciate your patience. Let me see what I can do to make things better.”

This statement shows empathy for their wait and shows that you are on their side. Even though the problem isn’t your fault, you’ve stated you are going to find a solution for them. According to Harvard Business Review, customers are more likely to forgive a service failure when employees acknowledge the inconvenience and work to better the situation.

Follow Up and End on a Positive Note

Once the situation is resolved, it can be tempting to move on with your shift. Close the loop to ensure we’ve helped turn a bad experience into a positive one. Saying things like:

• After dealing with a long wait — “I wanted to check in – was everything worth the wait?”
• After offering an alternative dish — “How did you like the dish? I hope it was a good substitute.”
• After addressing a pricing concern — “Thanks for sticking with us. I appreciate you dining with us tonight.”

When we show genuine caring, it can make a lasting impression on our customers.

Parting Thoughts

Dealing with frustrated customers is one of the most challenging aspects of this job. We magnify the challenge when dealing with matters outside of our control. Its helpful to remember to:

• Empathize with what your customers are feeling
• Be solutions focused while being honest
• Focus on inclusion instead of blame
• Apologize effectively without shouldering the blame
• Close out the interaction positively

When we go the extra mile, people feel valued and heard. We can overcome challenges with excellence in customer service. By finding solutions, we can foster lifelong customer relationships.